Lost Duck

Rigo 98, Twenty-Three Found “Lost Bird” Posters (detail), 1989-1998; mixed media on paper; 8 1/2 in. x 11 in. (21.59 cm x 27.94 cm) each; Collection SFMOMA, Ruth Nash Fund purchase; © Rigo 98

I could lift you up

So simple.

Emerson says

A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages.

New songs come along.

The Whole Point.

Found two Norwegians in the park on Saturday. Or rather, they found me. Actually, they were implored to take a turn while we tried to get four people jumping rope at the same time. They turned out, of course, to be the best jumpers of all. Nothing like the Viking gene to make for swarthy jump ropers.

Being able to love them and show them the New York that I know has been healing. Tragedies hit us all in different ways and for some reason the shooting in Oslo cut me deep. I felt an ache for that connectedness I feel from traveling, from being welcomed into someone's home who you just met. The glory of a random encounter 7,000 miles away from your house that couldn't feel more like home.

In Oslo last summer I experienced the ultimate hospitality. Flying through the fjords like it was a  normal commute, nesting into a family's dinner table as the sun set over the ocean, dancing in the back yard of a pub with generations of people whose entire lineage has been battling snow, ice, and darkness every year without complaining since the beginning of time.

The whole point is to love one another.

Vicarious

Filling a Void

The emphasis of many people's lives is on healing, instead of on enjoying life. I've been subconsciously concerned with rectifying wounds of the past by recreating painful situations in the present. This sort of play-acting can be helpful for learning and growing, if dealt with correctly. But much of the time I've found myself creating the same pattern over and over again, then struggling with regret and confusion about how I perpetuate old habits and beliefs.

"You fell in love because your old brain had your partner confused with your parents! Your old brain believed that it had finally found the ideal antidote to make up for the psychological and emotional damage you experienced in childhood." - Harville Hendrix

If this is even partially true, then we should be able to see our relationship issues coming from a mile away. How your mother felt about you when you were born, the issues your parents dealt with in the first few years of your life, and climactic incidents throughout our early childhood would be the outline for relationships to come. 


But there's so much more to life than living out these tired old stories. To move from the subconscious phase and into the conscious phase, we must embrace each moment with courage and honesty, separating the habitual, tired re-woundings of the past from the beautiful, perfect present.

"To see your drama clearly is to be liberated from it."
- Ken Keyes Jr.

This is my cry! Live each moment for this moment alone! I will see each day as nothing but this day, a perfect play of light and sound, full of miraculous amounts of joy!

Meaning in Mourning

I feel a darkness in my heart since the tragedy in Norway. Fratricide creates a sort of emptiness and awkwardness, conjuring uncomfortable questions about the capacity of human beings and design flaws in the master plan.

I found this quote that helped me feel a little less lost for the moment:

"On earth, God is trying to evolve the universal art of right living by encouraging in men's hearts feelings of brotherhood and appreciation for others.

He has therefore permitted no nation to be complete in itself. To the members of each race He has given some special aptitude, some unique genius, with which they may make a distinctive contribution to the world civilization.

Peace on earth will be hastened by a constructive exchange among nations of their best features. Ignoring the faults of a race, we should discern and emulate its virtues. It is important to note that the great saints of history have personified the ideals of all lands, and have embodied the highest aspirations of all religions." -Paramahansa Yogananda

Mixed metaphors

I love mixed metaphors: a quintessential breakdown of the English language, a moment where words fail to convey their figurative meaning and you end up with an often hilarious surrealist image.


Understanding metaphor is a crucial element of learning another language. The cultural beliefs, context, and unspoken understanding wrapped up in metaphor can leave the foreigner totally lost. I remember being taught not only metaphors in Swahili but also the nature of not saying exactly what you're thinking. Taking a round-about way of saying something can be both more polite and an art form. 


I love metaphors because the beauty of sharing an indescribable feeling with another person is a part of human existence I crave.


Here are some of my favorite mixed metaphors, uncredited (out of love for you, Mom):


"Do you follow where I'm coming from?"
(From "do you follow me? and "do you see where I'm coming from?"


"Button your seatbelts"
(From "fasten your seatbelts" and "button up your britches")


"You're blowing their trumpet?" 
(From "blowing smoke up their ass" and "toot their own horn.")


"A heart as big as gold."
(From "a heart like a lion" or "a heart as big as Texas" and "good as gold.")

"Biting the hand that rocks the cradle"

(From "Don't bite the hand that feeds you" and "don't rock the boat" and maybe "robbing the cradle"

"It's like water under a ducks back."
(From "It's like water under a bridge", "It's like oil off a ducks back" and "below the belt.")

good god

god is good.

this is all I've got.
backlogged.
you can tell a lot about a person by what they capitalize when they aren't thinking about it.
i once tested in the 70th percentile for capitalization. my mom was flabbergasted at my shocking and abrupt ineptitude. i thought it was the most hilarious thing!

new york city, where you can drink the tap water.
and brush elbows with one thousand people every day.

Five Year Diary

To record your daily happenings...


And be able to go back 2.5 years and say "where was I when.."


To go back a year ago and find out "what was I thinking!?"


To go back to your last birthday and find out what you wore...


To go back 5 years and see who you were.

Buy it from Gravel and Gold.

Art is either Plagiarism or Revolution...

said Gauguin.


Ai Wei Wei inspires a fire inside me. He lives free of fear, full of his truth. In China they call him (loose translation) "Ai God."  

He recently created 100 million porcelain sunflower seeds for a piece at the Tate. "It's a work about mass production and repeatedly accumulating the small effort of individuals to become a massive, useless piece of work," he says. "China is blindly producing for the demands of the market . . . My work very much relates to this blind production of things. I'm part of it, which is a bit of a nonsense." 

A new doc on his life I can't wait to see:

Check out a slide show of his art here 

This is my life...

Multiple Intelligence

I thought I'd never say this but, I miss riding the subway. I miss the "people-watching, the musical performances, the spontaneous moments of humanity coming together in pain/anguish/joy. But mostly I miss the reading. 


For some reason I wasn't a big head phone user. At the time, I was unaware of the bacteria-increase caused by headphone use, so it wasn't for health reasons as much as safety reasons. I like to have my ears checking for warning sounds while taking the G train late at night to far corners of Brooklyn, even if everything between those ears is checked out.


I read self-help books. Good pieces of fiction I'd missed in school. And every New Yorker magazine. 


I still read before bed, on the weekends, on the occasional airplane. But not at the rate I used to. 


Now, while I commute I listen to podcasts of various sorts, This American Life, RadioLab, Stuff You Missed in History Class and the like. This new experience makes me wonder if audible version of literature and news will be the norm in the future. For  those of us whose primary learning style is not verbal, (but rather musical, visual, and interpersonal) alternatives to the traditional ways of learning are increasingly useful. Take a multiple intelligence test here to find out what your strengths are.

Empowered Women

And that’s where in terms of becoming an empowered individual....
when you get to the point where you realize you can look at someone and say
“I love myself enough" - not in a schmaltzy garbage sense, Hallmark stuff,
I’m talking respect myself - "I respect my life-force enough to no longer waste it."


- Caroline Myss

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, 
but by the love we're not extending in the present.

- Marianne Williamson

There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you.
The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.


If you don't like something, change it.
If you can't change it, change your attitude.
Don't complain. 


- Maya Angelou

How Will We Save the Bees?

Bees are an integral and necessary part of our agricultural and ecological systems, producing honey, and more importantly pollinating our crops.

Yet they are dying off at a scary rate.  When I moved to LA I noticed dying bees on my back porch. I didn't have a bee trap or evil poison flowers, they just flew in, and died. If I've noticed this in one of the biggest cities in America, imagine what's been happening in farm towns and rural areas. 

The UK Observer wrote in 2010: "The decline of the country's estimated 2.4 million beehives began in 2006, when a phenomenon dubbed colony collapse disorder (CCD) led to the disappearance of hundreds of thousands of colonies. Since then more than three million colonies in the US and billions of honeybees worldwide have died and scientists are no nearer to knowing what is causing the catastrophic fall in numbers." 

Until now...Two different studies have concluded that cell phone signals severely hamper the normal functioning of bees. From decreased egg production to unnecessary swarming to bees getting lost on their way back to the hives, our cell phone signals are killing off the bees. CNN et al.

"A recent three-year study analyzed the geographic distribution and genetic diversity of eight species of bumble bees in the U.S., the relative abundances of four of the eight species analyzed have declined by as much as 96 percent and that their surveyed geographic ranges have shrunk by 23 to 87 percent.   Apiary Inspectors of America and the US government's Agricultural Research Service (ARS).

As it is unlikely that the world will learn to forgo the convenience of cell phones, it is unclear how catastrophic the impact of the loss of bees could become.

A Sexist Pig Myth

I often feel alone and confused when news breaks of prominent, upstanding men "of note" are discovered in adulterous relationships...or worse. It's like the little girl inside of me hiding somewhere who still believes in Prince Charmings and Romeos suddenly gets choked up and says "are all men capable of such treachery?" 


To which, of course, the answer is yes. All men are capable. Just as all women are capable. All humans are capable of doing whatever they want at anytime. Das is FREE WILL. However, the ability to control our own mood swings, identify and face our fears, and conquer our bad habits is probably a good sign that we won't be given to unconscious or conscious  social transgression after promising a lifetime of loyalty to another person. I'll work on me, you work on you.


Here's a NYT article on why men of prominence cheat:
"Feelings of inadequacy, a longing for paths not taken, or a sense of gratification too long delayed can prompt the taking of one small risk, one awkward advance, and then another, therapists say. It’s easy to ridicule such motives, and they do not justify the harm done to others when the chairman reaches for the cookie jar, or the thigh of a Congressional page." From NYT: A Sexist Pig Myth

Meanwhile there are pages and pages of information on famous cheaters, famous mistresses. Where is the research on the greatest husbands of all time? The most loyal couples? The strongest, most supportive wives? I'm looking, I'll let you know.

Got Tweet?

foo·fa·raw

/ˈfo͞ofəˌrô/ Noun
1. A great deal of fuss or attention given to a minor matter.
2. Showy frills added unnecessarily

Really not a fan of coke

but I am a huge fan of the insect kingdom stealing things from humans and bottles turning into butterflies...

Grievances

At every moment we have the choice of either feeling gratitude for what's been given to us or indulging in grievance about what is missing.

"Thin-Skinned Calcium Sipper"

I am not one to profess any sort of musical prowess.  But since this comes straight from my DJ and I am so excited to be going home the words can't form, this song must suffice:

Sea Oleena - Milk

From Prince to Parasites

Prince, April 21, 2011:

"THIS IS THE BEST PLACE ON EARTH TO BE RIGHT NOW."

Parasites in my body, April 2006 - April 2011:

"THIS IS THE BEST PLACE ON EARTH TO BE RIGHT NOW."

To Tijuana and back

in 6 hours. Crossing national borders by foot is always fun. I remember being shoved off a bus in the middle of the night to walk the border between Uganda and Rwanda. Walking in a bizarre no-mans land where you have no rights, no protection, no identity until you cross the line again, to become a citizen/foreigner. The arbitrary lines that create "nations" become more and more real as we base our identity on these false nationalities. Here is a nice overview of these issues. But I recommend walking the border, Tijuana is wonderful. Just watch for this.

a·kim·bo

/əˈkimbō/ Adverb: With hands on the hips and elbows turned outward.

"It was impossible for her to begin in time, and as she patiently waited, arms akimbo and ears straining for the music, the house let loose again..."
From Jack London in 'Moon-Face and Other Stories'

Freelancer.

Surprises for Grandma

Grandma's 90th birthday came and went. She said she's aiming for 95. Her mother lived to be 103, so she'll probably cap that. I brought her some little surprises:

Daffodils, key lime pie, and burdock root

Epoch Director Showcase

The Joy of the Succulent

Nothing like twilight in LA re-potting succulents. And then waiting for them to make babies.

Birthday sugar

Basically, I'm the happiest girl in the world.

 

Courtside notes

Fernando Verdasco

Here's a free mental health diagnosis. Try a new sport. If you hear yourself saying "doh. stupid" "s#^t" "darn it." "what the heck was that!?" and any other variety that isn't encouraging, supportive, understanding, and sympathetic, then maybe it's time for some thought re-routing. 

Like "nice one," "close," "wow getting better," "tough one, but I almost got it!"

Since we create our reality with our thoughts, we might as well be positive. Plus, chances are we're either projecting or verbalizing those same thoughts about others, and let's just hope it's not our children...

I've taken up tennis. Well...it's been a few years now, but this year it's staying in the court. yeah! nice one. good attitude.

Dance, dance, otherwise we are lost...

PINA - Dance, dance, otherwise we are lost - International Trailer from neueroadmovies on Vimeo.

Today is Blog Shout Out Day

My new absolute fave: http://eileenpeters.tumblr.com

My former absolute fave: http://www.bendickinson.tv/

Love his blog: http://www.wearelove.us/

The only music blog: http://watchmeforthechanges.tumblr.com/

LA "it" girl: http://stylewaxpoetic.com/

And most importantly, my little brother's blog: www.whatdyouhavefordinner.com

Life without shampoo

self portraits = self indulgence

So...not sure if you've heard, but shampoo is taboo. Chemicals galore, long term side effects, unnecessary expenses, who needs it? For years I've used Davines a la this pretty lady. I sometimes switched it up with Crede ER and Nigelle ER shampoo, but still my scalp suffered with itchiness and my hair: lack luster. 

Well I have no success story for you.

I can only tell you that despite 4+ days of not bathing and a sweatastic yoga class, I still haven't shampooed. The No More Dirty Looks story really got me thinking...maybe shampoo is one of those things where natural is not only cheaper (I was spending $25-30 per bottle), but better!? So my locks are currently saturated with apple cider vinegar and going to stay that way. Luckily there is no one around for the next few days to smell me. We shall see, let me know.

Sweet Peas

He bought me a bouquet of sweet peas, "they were Grandpa's favorite."

The next day, his cancer was back.

Everything ia about to fall apart all of the time. 

We take it for granted that it won't. When it does, we act shocked and betrayed, but in reality, the blink of an eye can turn friends into enemies, white into stain, security into crisis, faith into disillusion. And the other way 'round.

A glimpse at the other side

watch in 1080p

Best photo I've ever

taken that i will post for free on the internet.

CLOSET EDIT

lina gave me a closet edit:

 

you gotta get one .

Never mind I'll find it.

I'm proud of

my production design. 

 fake cup

fake paper

I'd rather be there than here

 

Taken from her really cool blog

This is important to know about

Always a mistake

It's always a mistake to wear rain boots in LA.

The Oscar

Oscar Day in LA = Puerto Rican Day Parade in NYC

My Barn

My barn having burned to the ground, 

I can now see the moon.

Hah leetle animals

THE NEXT big THING

Watch Him For The Changes

He is my DJ.

Favorite Comic Strips?

brekfast

Disneyland for NYE 2011

Photo by itshudsony